We talk a lot about balance. I talk about and think about it all the time- trying to find it, needing to find it. Some claim that they have found it, others say (probably more honestly) that is something that they struggle with on an almost daily basis.
I am an all-or-nothing, driven, Type A personality. When I find something new that I'm interested in, I tend to do it all the way- determinedly, doggedly, unabashedly. Nothing can keep me from my pursuit... and then.... I'm done.
I find that my balance comes over the course of months or seasons. For a season, I work, work, work- 11 hours days 5 days a week plus several hours on Saturday and Sunday. And then... I am tired. I am worn out, burned out, and I wonder- why bother? There is no joy in the work anymore at that point. And I start to question whether I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing... and the answer is of course I am, but I have burned myself out and need a break, a season of rest. I think that's where I am now.
Lately I have been questioning myself- Is this what I really want? Is this what I really want to do? And when I think about it, I know the answer is yes. But I am just in one of those "rest" seasons. Resting not just from work, but from some wonderful yet emotionally stressful events. As most of you know, my oldest daughter got married last month, and youngest daughter got her driver's license and will be a high school senior next year. Which leaves me with those ambivalent feelings of Yay! I will have tons of time now/ /Oh my gosh what in the world am I going to do with all of my time???
I am in transition. Transition is exciting, fun, and scary. Really scary. Full of feelings and fears and worries and possibilities. While I am trying to feel and accept my feelings and fears (in addition to being Type A, I am also a let's Git-R-Done and not-waste-time-with-feelings type of person) I am trying to focus on the possibilities.
In this period of transition, I will remember that
My daily life will probably not be balanced, but that doesn't mean I am not living a balanced life. In the course of a week, a month, a season, a year, a life.... I will trust that I have given the appropriate amount of time and attention to every important facet of my life: my faith, my family, my work, helping others, fun and relaxation.
Some days I will work too hard, other days I will play too much, and other days I will do nothing at all. And that's OK. I just have to keep reminding myself.
I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
P.S. Don't forget the big giveaway here on my blog, and at Henry Glass Fabrics all this week.